The anxiety

I had the same fear when starting my work for my undergraduate exhibition, as i do now. There is a kind of safety net when developing portfolio work, you can openly accept that what you tried did not work and you are going to move on from that, in privacy – often only shared with the select few you choose and your mentor/tutor (if applicable). However with exhibition work, it has to work. End of. Its going to be on display for a wide range of people to judge. Emphasis on the work JUDGE. Which I find far my anxious than sharing my work on the internet.

Sharing online, seems to take the personal approach out of it. Yet you are also sharing mainly to your selected audience, your followers or friends list. Primarily composed of people you like and have interest in or simply know you as a person and aren’t too critical of you. This same respect will not come from the wandering stranger whom you are just a name and a canvas too.

With this style of painting – there is very little room for mistakes. I can not simply just cover the image in white acrylic and start again. Another safety net swept away from me. Everything is built on washes and layers.

The style of tree I am creating takes strict application. Ignoring the flow of the sky I have to create a straight (barcode like) tree trunk – that isn’t immaculately straight from the use of measurements and ruler, but has a natural straightness. I need to use a range of brushes from thickness to shape, to be able to paint clean lines. As well as keep the design simple, yet subtly add highlights to show give a more 3 demential look and source of light.

HOWEVER this anxiety must be overcome if I am not to fall behind with scheduling. I must have confidence in myself and my ability and believe in the work I am producing. This does not always come naturally to me and I know I’m not the only artist out there with this problem.

I can gladly say this happened today. I started :)!

Many thanks for reading 🙂
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